46 funny act quotes - Wordgag

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

May 30, 2026

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

May 30, 2026

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

May 30, 2026

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

May 30, 2026

Why do DJs always act like their knobs are hot?

May 29, 2026

Squirrels always look and act like it’s their first day being a squirrel.

May 29, 2026

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

May 29, 2026

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

May 29, 2026

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

May 29, 2026

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

May 29, 2026

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

May 28, 2026

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

May 28, 2026

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

May 28, 2026

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

May 27, 2026

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

May 27, 2026

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

May 27, 2026May 27, 2026

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

May 27, 2026

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

May 26, 2026

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

May 26, 2026

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

May 26, 2026

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

May 26, 2026

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

May 26, 2026

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

May 25, 2026

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

May 25, 2026

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

May 25, 2026

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

May 25, 2026

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

May 24, 2026

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

May 24, 2026

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

May 23, 2026

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

May 23, 2026

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

May 23, 2026

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

May 23, 2026

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

May 23, 2026

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

May 22, 2026

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

May 22, 2026

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

May 22, 2026

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

May 22, 2026

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

May 21, 2026

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

May 21, 2026

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

May 21, 2026