Trendy Funny Quotes

  • A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.
  • Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
  • People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.
  • The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.
  • My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
  • Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.