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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,233

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Napping goals right there! I aspire to reach that level of chill. 🦥😴😂

animal, day, humor, laziness, nap, sleep, sloth, spirit, spirit animal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

0

2 months ago

beast, comparison, Dubai, exaggeration, humor, mr., Mr. Beast, person, personality, personification, wealth
My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

0

2 months ago

being, cost, expensive, family, getting, humor, me, nice, parenting, relationship, teen
Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

0

2 months ago

drama, family, family drama, hands, holiday, holiday stress, humor, secret, secret family, stress, time, worst, worst time, year
People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

0

2 months ago

always, analysis, celebrity, claim, data, day, death, die, expectation, humor, irony, love, people, unexpected
People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

0

2 months ago

easily, Facebook, Google, humor, i, irony, laziness, me, media, myself, online, people, question, social, social media, tell, thing
Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

0

2 months ago

bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, cartoon wisdom, choices, fight, flight, humor, i, lady, lessons, life, life lessons, limited, me, pretend, pretty, pretty lady, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

48 shares on X this month:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Going viral on Slack:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Just shared via Discord:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Going viral on Slack:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Going viral on Slack:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Just shared via WeChat:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Going viral on Instagram:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨