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Commentary:
"Never trust someone who can devour snacks like it's their job but remains as svelte as a celery stick. 🍟🥗 Either they've struck a deal with the metabolism gods 🌟 or they're secretly an undercover food magician. 🎩✨ Don't be fooled by their bottomless pit powers – they're onto something fishy! 🕵️‍♂️🍭"

diet, eat, food, humor, skinny, someone, still, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

1 month ago
frustration, humor, jar, lid, open, struggle, swear
Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

1 month ago
commitment, getting, going, marriage, married, most, parent, parents, serious, shock, shocked, us
I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situation, borrowed, borrowed things, garage, garage sale, having, hope, humor, people, possessions, sale, selling, situation, things, thrift
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

1 month ago
animals, drunk, duck, humor, observation, talk, talking, walks
Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

1 month ago
am, best, best friend, friend, friends, fun, humor, i, insane, relatable, run
Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

1 month ago
antlers, car, decoration, everything, fun, humor, i, know, me, need, personality, stereotype, tell, vehicle

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

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Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

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Your pronouns should be get/help.

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I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Seen just now on TikTok:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just landed via Threads:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Spotted on Messenger:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

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Activity Log ✨

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

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Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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