Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of having a mind that operates at the speed of light while others seem stuck in slow motion. It's like trying to process a whole buffet of nonsense in one bite – a true test of mental digestion!"

humor, just, listening, me, process, stupidity, time, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

1 month ago
able, activity, behavior, drawer, fun, fun activity, humor, humorous, humorous behavior, keep, mash, open, playful, potato, prank, quirk, random, sometimes
Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

1 month ago
avoidance, conversation, friends, funny response, humor, i, long time, me, purpose, response, seen, social, time
If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

1 month ago
bar, crumbs, DIY, food, granola, humor, nature, Nature Valley, resourcefulness, snack, three, valley
Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

1 month ago
accent, English, English accent, ghost, ghost story, humor, scary, sound, story
Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

1 month ago
after, around, art, art critique, art museum, banger, casual, casual talk, critique, expression, humor, museum, museum visit, painting, saying, slang, talk, verbal, verbal expression, visit, walking
Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

1 month ago
diary, even, going, humor, i, mad, media, post, privacy, reading, social, social media, stuff, things, Twitter

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Going viral on Facebook:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Breaking via YouTube:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

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No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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