Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of having a mind that operates at the speed of light while others seem stuck in slow motion. It's like trying to process a whole buffet of nonsense in one bite – a true test of mental digestion!"

humor, just, listening, me, process, stupidity, time, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on TikTok this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

16 shares on X this month:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Making waves on X:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Trending via Instagram:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Live now on Pinterest:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Spotted on Twitch:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Spotted on X:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Going viral on Twitch:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨