Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Spotted on TikTok:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Shared recently on Slack:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Making waves on TikTok:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Trending via YouTube:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you've got an expert like yourself on speed dial? 🤔💁‍♂️😂 #SelfTalkGoals"

advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, myself, need, self-talk, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

1 month ago
activity, death, died, doing, funny activity, gang, gang member, humor, irony, love, member, ticklish, trying
One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

5 months ago
age, aging, curiosity, day, fun, humor, i, next, old, saying, tree, wonder, young, youth
Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

3 months ago
acceptable, casual, casual wear, coffee, coffee cup, comfort, cup, daily, daily routine, day, holding, humor, norm, pajama, pajamas, relaxation, routine, social, social norm, socially, wear
Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

21 hours ago
80s, 80s film, appearance, charming, charming lead, classic, days, discord, Discord mod, film, gathering, group, guy, hair, having, i, lead, long hair, magic, Magic: The Gathering, mod, Navy, runs, scary
Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

1 month ago
cost, expenses, funeral, humor, just, life, living, longer, mortality, people, seen, wonder
I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

3 months ago
airport, early, humor, never, punctuality, talking, timing, travel

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Going viral on Snapchat:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Going viral on Facebook:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏