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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Going bananas on Telegram:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.
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Commentary:
Ah, the intricate art of dad lecturing – where enthusiasm meets obliviousness in a battle of wills! 🤓👧👦 Stay strong, dads, your wisdom may fall on deaf ears now, but one day they'll appreciate your niche expertise… maybe. 😉📚 #MasterOfDadJokes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

14 shares on Slack this month:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

77 shares on Discord this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope my email finds you enraged.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Going bananas on Slack:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

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