Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Trending via Messenger:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Trending via Pinterest:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least my "non-bowling" shoes don't come with a warranty against banana peel mishaps 😂👟🍌

bowling, footwear, humor, normal, shoe, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

0

2 months ago

busy, daylight, humor, procrastination, saving, saving daylight, time, too
If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, bath, cat, chaos, ever, humor, mishap, pet
Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

0

2 months ago

banking, customer, customer service, days, frustration, irony, me, money, refund, seconds, service, take
Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

0

2 months ago

cat, comfort, face, humor, pet, putting, relaxation, self-care, soft, softness
Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

0

2 months ago

day, escape, every, exercise, fitness, humor, leg, leg day, motivation, problem, problems, running
Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

0

3 months ago

algorithm, complaint, customer, customer service, developer, humor, i, manager, service, speak, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

66 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Just landed via TikTok:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Making waves on YouTube:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Live now on Twitch:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Making waves on Telegram:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨