Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Shared recently on Discord:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Trending via YouTube:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Spreading quickly via X:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Seen just now on X:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least my "non-bowling" shoes don't come with a warranty against banana peel mishaps 😂👟🍌

bowling, footwear, humor, normal, shoe, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

0

2 months ago

acceptance, again, attitude, disappointed, disappointment, even, frustration, humor, i, just, oh, okay, perseverance, resilience
After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

0

2 months ago

coffee, cup, drink, empty, empty cup, funny interaction, guy, humor, i, interaction, IT guy, Java, joke, me, programming, say, show, workplace, workplace humor
If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

0

1 month ago

aesthetic, dark, dark exposure, exposure, humor, man, photo, pics, send, take, today, war
When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

0

2 months ago

communication, expectations, forget, humor, i, kids, minute, parenting, procrastination, saying, something, tell
Can we not just call it Zealand now?

0

2 months ago

call, humor, just, suggestion, wordplay, Zealand
This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

0

2 months ago

bouncer, date, frightened, humor, lady, lucky, night, night out, pain, physically, relationship, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Making waves on TikTok:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Breaking via WeChat:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Seen just now on X:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨