Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

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The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

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No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

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Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

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People who scream sneeze need their own island.

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The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

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Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”