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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Going viral on Facebook:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Trending via Messenger:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Seen just now on Instagram:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

2 months ago

0

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶🎶 "And now, presenting the next karaoke sensation… someone who takes 'Pink Panther' quite literally! 🐾 This performance is so smooth, you might mistake it for a cat burglar! 😹 Just watch out for the mysterious charm and the stealthy moves… or lack thereof! 🎶🎵 #KaraokeGoals"

awkwardness, funny moment, humor, just, karaoke, moment, motionless, panther, performance, pink, Pink Panther, song, stage, standing, theme, theme song, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

0

2 months ago

cool, cooler, encounter, family, generation, humor, kids, kind, kindness, parent, parents, teenager, wild
I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

0

2 months ago

back, busy, clips, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, mini, mini clips, procrastination, rings, social media, text, TikTok, watching
The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

0

2 months ago

again, being, cool, humor, ignoring, notification, over, repetition, surprise, technology, thing
Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

0

2 months ago

apology, bathroom, convince, dryer, excuse, exist, existence, funny excuse, hand, hand dryer, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry, trying
Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

0

5 months ago

day, due, every, getting, humor, improvement, motivation, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, self, self-improvement, strength
I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

0

2 months ago

abyss, busy, busy signal, communication, existential, frustration, humor, i, irony, scream, signal, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Threads this month:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

30 shares on Instagram this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

83 shares on X this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

66 shares on Discord this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is I am always the problem.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Making waves on Threads:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Going bananas on WeChat:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Trending via Messenger:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Shared recently on Discord:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Trending via YouTube:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

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