Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Just shared via YouTube:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Making waves on Telegram:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Just landed via WeChat:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Making waves on Threads:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Spotted on WeChat:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

0
Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Embarking on a family road trip: where the scenic views are as beautiful as the chaos inside the car 🚗👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's the ultimate test of love and survival skills… because let's face it, surviving a road trip with your in-laws is a true relationship milestone! 🤪💔 #FamilyRoadTripDrama"

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

20 shares on Slack this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Just landed via Discord:

I need a break from me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Seen just now on X:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Trending via Facebook:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Seen just now on Telegram:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴