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Looks like your phone is the ultimate hide-and-seek champion, giving Houdini a run for his money! 📱🕵️‍♂️ Don't worry, it's just practicing its disappearing act for a future career in magic. Just remember, whoever finds it first gets to be the winner of this epic game of hide and seek! 🏆😄

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Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

1 month ago
April, April Fool’s, celebrate, celebration, costume, culture, day, fool, fool’s, humor, identity, sensitivity
My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

4 months ago
dream, excuse, humor, i, jealousy, just, mad, marriage, me, relationship, say, second, secret, wife
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

2 months ago
diet, doughnut, food, hard, humor, i, sprinkles, struggle, temptation, thing, today
At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

1 month ago
age, aging, breaks, humor, i, life, nap, pee, sleep
People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

1 month ago
dog, dogs, exercise, humor, laziness, people, pet, picked, skateboard, teaching, training, vet, walk
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

2 months ago
cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

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I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

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Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

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Everyone is awful in their own special way.

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My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

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Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

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Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

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Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

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Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

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Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

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Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

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Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

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Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

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So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

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I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

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So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

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