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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has shared:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has downloaded:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has shared:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has viewed:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Reddit:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Live now on Messenger:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Just landed via Discord:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Shared recently on Threads:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Shared recently on X:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Spotted on Facebook:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Just landed via Threads:

You’re my least favourite notification.

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

0
So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your phone is the ultimate hide-and-seek champion, giving Houdini a run for his money! πŸ“±πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™‚οΈ Don't worry, it's just practicing its disappearing act for a future career in magic. Just remember, whoever finds it first gets to be the winner of this epic game of hide and seek! πŸ†πŸ˜„

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

94 shares on X this month:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

28 shares on X this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That awkward moment between birth and death.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has copied:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Happy return of β€œyes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has copied:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

People be like, β€œI’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I ask β€œWhat’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Spotted on Facebook:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Making waves on YouTube:

I run a parody bank account.

Just shared via X:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

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