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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

57 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Just shared via X:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Spotted on Telegram:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Spotted on Discord:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Making waves on Facebook:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Spotted on Discord:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Home » Funny Phone Quotes

165 Funny phone quotes

Funny phone quotes bring a humorous touch to our daily interactions with technology! 📱😂 From texting mishaps to the quirks of smartphone life, these quotes highlight the comedic side of our digital communications. Enjoy a laugh at the often amusing reality of phone use! 😄📞

New funny phone quotes 👇

14 hours ago
Share →: Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic research tactic: Procrastination by Panic 📱😅📚
3 days ago
Share →: If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Commentary:
Totally! Just like drinking coffee to help you nap better ☕📱😅
3 days ago
Share →: Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Commentary:
"Guess he trusts me more than his phone's passcode! 😴🔐📱"
6 days ago
Share →: So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Commentary:
When life gives you telemarketers, give them a taste of their own menu! 🤣☎️ Press 1 for a good laugh!
6 days ago
Share →: Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Commentary:
Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛
6 days ago
Share →: My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Commentary:
Story of my life—it's a real skill losing things while still holding them! 🙈📱🕵️‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Commentary:
Oh, the heartbreak of waiting for the 'Ring of Shame' to end—my phone just loves holding me hostage! 📞😂📵
1 week ago
Share →: Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚
1 week ago
Share →: You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Commentary:
Is this why my voicemail has been renamed to 'Missed Drama Collection'? 😂📞💬
1 week ago
Share →: Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Phone-nappers! 📱🕵️‍♂️🚨

For even more funny phone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny phone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

57 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Spotted on Telegram:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Trending via Discord:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Blink if you want me!

Trending via Reddit:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Breaking via Reddit:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Just landed via Threads:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

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