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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Just shared via Slack:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Live now on Telegram:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Spotted on WeChat:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

2 months ago

0

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of choosing between a charming prince and a majestic horse! 🐴🤴 Who knew equine companions could be such fierce competition in the quest for true love? Perhaps it's time for a royal horse wedding! 🐎💍👑"

choice, horse, humor, love, marry, meet, prince, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

0

2 months ago

attitude, bad, bad day, both, day, days, ever, finger, fingers, frustration, funny attitude, humor, humor quote, middle, middle finger, sarcasm
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

0

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe
I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

0

2 months ago

20, actual, animation, entertainment, humor, i, Kung-Fu, last, movy, Panda, think, wildlife, year’s
It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

0

2 months ago

amusing, entertainment, good, health, humor, mental, mental health, popcorn, right, therapist, therapy, thing
Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

0

5 months ago

AI, before, cheating, education, effort, humor, learning, level, required, something, technology
My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, comfortable, feel, humor, i, irony, personality, skill, social, social skill, superpower, uncomfortable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

98 shares on Discord this month:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

92 shares on Facebook this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite color is money.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Spotted on Messenger:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Spotted on Messenger:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Making waves on Discord:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Spreading quickly via X:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Seen just now on Threads:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Going viral on YouTube:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

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