Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.
  • If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.
  • Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.
  • If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.
  • There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.
  • I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.