Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Seen just now on X:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Going viral on X:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Live now on TikTok:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Humorous text about how sundries sounds like grandma's cheeky nickname for scandalous lingerie.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, sundries – Grandma's code word for scandalous unmentionables 😏👵💋 Who knew shopping for everyday items could be so risqué? Keep your secrets hidden in the sundry section, folks! 🤫👙 #GrandmaKnowsBest"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

74 shares on Reddit this month:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

74 shares on Facebook this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

61 shares on X this month:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Going viral on Slack:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Just landed via Facebook:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Just landed via Facebook:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Just shared via Slack:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Going bananas on YouTube:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Just shared via Slack:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Math is like Chinese to me.

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