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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Just landed via Telegram:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Breaking via Telegram:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Live now on Slack:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Going viral on Slack:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Breaking via Threads:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

6 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my socks are trying out for a new reality show, "Lone Socks of the Laundry Room"! 🧦😂

among, clothing, divorce, divorce rate, humor, joke, rate, relationship, sock, socks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

1 month ago

chores, dishes, downside, help, helping, humor, kids, parenting, upside
I can’t work under these festive conditions.

1 month ago

conditions, distractions, festive, humor, i, productivity, under, work
If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

4 months ago

delete, humor, i, media, online, online post, patience, post, procrastination, social, social media
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

2 months ago

humor, i, just, know, learning, life, mistake, repetition, same, sure, times
I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

1 month ago

anything, casual, casual inquiry, funny situation, going, humor, inquiry, need, situation, spiraling
The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

5 months ago

barrier, big, big natural, canyon, grand, Grand Canyon, great, Great Barrier Reef, humor, i, joke, landmark, major, misunderstanding, natural, nature, outdoor, reef, thought, time

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Going viral on Messenger:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Live now on Facebook:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Spotted on YouTube:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

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The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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