Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
  • I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
  • Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.
  • You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.
  • Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.
  • I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.