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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Spotted on WeChat:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Shared recently on Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Just shared via Instagram:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Seen just now on Threads:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

1 month ago

Humorous quote celebrating chocolate's veggie status as playful hero praise.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs salad when you've got chocolate vegetables? 🍫🥦 Talk about a sweet twist on nutrition! 😄👩‍🌾 #ChocoholicHeroes"

chocolate, comedy, food, humor, people, real, vegetable

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

78 shares on Slack this month:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

26 shares on X this month:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

98 shares on Slack this month:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Making waves on Instagram:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Making waves on X:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Making waves on Messenger:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Shared recently on Threads:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Spotted on Messenger:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Just shared via Messenger:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Trending via Facebook:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨