39 funny chocolate quotes - Wordgag

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

May 21, 2026

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

May 21, 2026

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

May 20, 2026

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

May 20, 2026

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

May 20, 2026

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

May 20, 2026

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

May 20, 2026

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

May 20, 2026

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

May 20, 2026

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

May 20, 2026

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

May 19, 2026

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Apr 1, 2026

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Mar 31, 2026

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Mar 31, 2026

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Mar 31, 2026

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Mar 30, 2026

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Mar 30, 2026

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Mar 29, 2026

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Mar 29, 2026

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Mar 28, 2026

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Mar 28, 2026

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Mar 28, 2026

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Mar 27, 2026

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Mar 27, 2026

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Mar 27, 2026

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Mar 27, 2026

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Mar 27, 2026

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Mar 26, 2026

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Mar 26, 2026

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Mar 26, 2026

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Mar 26, 2026

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Mar 26, 2026

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Mar 26, 2026

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Mar 25, 2026Mar 25, 2026

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Mar 25, 2026

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Mar 25, 2026

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Mar 25, 2026

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Mar 25, 2026