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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

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4 months ago

anyone, apocalypse, belief, climate, climate disaster, die, disaster, disasters, end, humor, just, know, mass, mass belief, psychosis, religion, religious, satire, survival, thing
People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

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2 months ago

advice, control, crazy, drive, humor, keys, life, life advice, people
I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

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3 months ago

15, age, boredom, boring, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, nostalgia, old, time, why, youth
Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

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2 months ago

Christmas, contacts, deserve, hope, i, just, merry, phone, wishing, work
If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

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2 months ago

again, away, exhaustion, forest, humor, insomnia, night, parenting, running, running away, sleep, tiredness, toddler, tonight
People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

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2 months ago

appearance, commentary, days, humor, i, judgment, just, looking, observation, people, sarcasm, social, social commentary, tell, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear Santa, Money!

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

59 shares on Twitch this month:

There are too many neglected emojis.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Trending via Pinterest:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Trending via Facebook:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Just landed via YouTube:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Just landed via Facebook:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Just shared via Discord:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

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Activity Log ✨

The future is buffering.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨