Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Breaking via Messenger:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Seen just now on Threads:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Going viral on X:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Going viral on Messenger:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Just shared via Instagram:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Trending via Telegram:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like our inner children need a lesson on cover-your-mouth-before-I-tell-your-inner-parents! 🙈😂🤧

child, coughing, humor, inner, inner child, insult, me, playful, playful insult

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, dog, dogs, domestic, domestic chores, empty, fold, humor, laundry, never, over, people, pets, practical, practical skills, pretty, roll, sit, skills, train, training, tricks, useful
Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

2 months ago

anxiety, birth, born, day, health, humor, i, life, regret, turning, ulcers
Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

4 weeks ago

access, bad, bad music, driver, drivers, ever, humor, joke, music, music taste, ride, ride share, secret, service, share, streaming, streaming service, taste, Uber, Uber driver, worst
“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop
You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

2 months ago

activity, date, eat, funny observation, know, observation, person, popcorn, seen, snack, social, social activity
“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

2 months ago

before, confusion, forgetting, games, here, humor, i, location, lose, losing, memory, mind, mind games, myself, put, say, self-talk, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

45 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

97 shares on Discord this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Freshly posted on X:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨