Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Seen just now on Reddit:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Trending via Messenger:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Live now on Instagram:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Just shared via Discord:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Going viral on Facebook:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Going viral on Threads:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Budget be like: "I'm not a wish granter, I'm a reality slapper!" 💸😂

desire, expensive, expensive thing, materialism, problem, temptation, thing, things, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

0

3 days ago

brain, came, humor, just, only, thinking, wit
Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, after, bit, die, expectations, humor, life, over, procrastination, routine, saying, slow, slow down, stress, things, week
An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

0

2 months ago

annoying, computer, email, frustration, humor, return, store, technology
Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

0

2 months ago

court, found, honor, humor, i, joke, laughter, matter, Your Honor
Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

0

2 months ago

activity, family, family outing, fun, fun activity, irony, kids, outing, phones, planetarium, take, technology, watch, YouTube
Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

0

2 months ago

animals, coincidence, companionship, everyone, humor, love, pets, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

54 shares on Facebook this month:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

41 shares on X this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going viral on Instagram:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Spotted on YouTube:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Spotted on Discord:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Going viral on YouTube:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Just shared via Instagram:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨