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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

41 Funny expensive quotes

Funny expensive quotes 💸 are the perfect blend of humor and luxury, making you chuckle while reminding you that sometimes, being pricey isn’t just about the cost—it’s about the crazy stories behind it! 😂 Whether you’re splurging or just dreaming, these witty sayings add sparkle ✨ to any conversation about fancy things and the wild world of high-end living. Get ready to laugh and maybe even rethink that shopping spree! 🛍️💎

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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