41 funny expensive quotes - Wordgag

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

May 20, 2026

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

May 20, 2026

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

May 20, 2026

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

May 20, 2026

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

May 20, 2026

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

May 20, 2026

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

May 19, 2026

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

May 19, 2026

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

May 19, 2026

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

May 19, 2026

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

May 19, 2026

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

May 18, 2026

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

May 18, 2026

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Apr 1, 2026

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Apr 1, 2026

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Apr 1, 2026

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Mar 31, 2026

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Mar 31, 2026

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Mar 31, 2026

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Mar 31, 2026

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Mar 31, 2026

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Mar 30, 2026

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Mar 30, 2026

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Mar 29, 2026

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Mar 29, 2026

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Mar 28, 2026

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Mar 28, 2026

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Mar 27, 2026

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Mar 27, 2026

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Mar 27, 2026

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Mar 26, 2026

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Mar 26, 2026

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Mar 26, 2026

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Mar 26, 2026

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Mar 26, 2026

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Mar 25, 2026

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Mar 24, 2026

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Mar 24, 2026

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Mar 24, 2026

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Mar 24, 2026