Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a Christmas party when you can have a solo dance party in your pajamas at home? 🎄💃 Can't argue with the perks of being self-employed! 😉 #PartyOfOne"

advantage, balance, being, Christmas, Christmas party, employment, humor, independence, party, real, self-employed, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

0

2 months ago

asked, bell, class, humor, i, joke, Pavlov, professor, psych, psychology, pun, rings, said, too, wit, witty
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

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2 months ago

actually, communication, culture, dating, ghosting, great, humor, respect, sign
I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

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2 months ago

battles, humor, i, lazy, let, me, pick, procrastination, self-deprecation
Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

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2 months ago

alive, entertainment, every, five, giving, happiness, humor, i, joy, just, movie, positivity, review, single, star, watch
“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

0

2 months ago

actually, am, chilling, humor, i, losing, losing mind, mind, multitask, relaxation, same, sarcasm, stress, time, yes
My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

0

3 months ago

buy, fashion, humor, i, outfit, outfits, problem, shoe, shopping, style, wardrobe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Breaking via WeChat:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Just shared via Reddit:

The void screams into me.

Just landed via Slack:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Just landed via Slack:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Trending via Telegram:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨