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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But itโ€™s not a very good one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.