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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Spotted on Discord:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Just landed via WeChat:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Spotted on X:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, someone sure turned up the Monday dial to 11 today! 😅📅

frustration, humor, Monday, motivation, over, relatable, sarcasm, weekday, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

0

5 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, runs, technology, tracking, watch
Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

0

2 months ago

cake, eat, enjoy, humor, indulge, life, promise, today, tomorrow
The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

0

3 months ago

best, downtime, Friday, Friday night, introvert, leisure, night, plan, plans, relaxation, weekend
One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, air, air fryer, cooking, fryer, humor, kitchen, life, life stages, minute, next, stages, wild, young, youth
I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

0

3 months ago

fan, huge, humor, interaction, loud, loud voice, people, politeness, sarcasm, say, saying, social, social interaction, thank, thank you, voice, welcome
Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

0

2 months ago

co-worker, coworker, fun, holiday, meeting, prank, random, random time, text, time, workplace

New Funny Quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

92 shares on X this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

12 shares on Discord this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Going viral on Instagram:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Going viral on Threads:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Just shared via Slack:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Just landed via TikTok:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨