Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Breaking via Slack:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Making waves on Discord:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Shared recently on Slack:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Trending via Facebook:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Making waves on Threads:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Going viral on Facebook:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Freshly posted on X:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Making waves on Messenger:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning rocks into coffee mugs since 10,000 BC ☕️😂🪨

art, craft, creativity, domestication, humor, pottery, rock, rocks, through

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

2 months ago

cell, cell phone, comedy, distraction, humor, i, irony, phone, put, ring, rings, technology, yes
Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

2 months ago

aging, animals, birds, humor, observation, older, once, people-watching, start, think
Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

2 months ago

dating, full, full moon, girl, girls, humor, i, joke, know, lunar, moon, playful, sacrifice, spot, supernatural, under
Cool times create cool guys.

2 months ago

confidence, cool, cool guy, cool times, create, fun, guy, guys, humor, lifestyle, times
Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

2 months ago

career, emperor, feel, food, hate, humor, i, job, motivation, myself, perspective, positivity, remind, taster, whenever
I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

2 months ago

barista, coffee, drink, foam, grande, hexagon, humor, hypothesis, i, ice, iced, iced mocha, just, mocha, no foam, order, people, random, random words, say, Starbucks, swear, vortex, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Messenger this month:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

43 shares on Discord this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Going viral on Threads:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Just landed via TikTok:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Breaking via Reddit:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Freshly posted on Discord:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Going viral on YouTube:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Cool times create cool guys.

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨