59 funny through quotes - Wordgag

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

May 30, 2026

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

May 30, 2026

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

May 30, 2026

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

May 30, 2026

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

May 30, 2026

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

May 30, 2026

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

May 30, 2026

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

May 29, 2026

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

May 29, 2026

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

May 29, 2026

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

May 29, 2026

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

May 29, 2026

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

May 29, 2026

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

May 29, 2026

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

May 29, 2026

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

May 29, 2026

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

May 29, 2026

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

May 29, 2026

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

May 29, 2026

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

May 29, 2026

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

May 28, 2026

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

May 28, 2026

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

May 28, 2026

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

May 28, 2026

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

May 27, 2026

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

May 27, 2026

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

May 27, 2026

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

May 27, 2026

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

May 27, 2026

I’m sick of living through history!

May 27, 2026

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

May 27, 2026

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

May 27, 2026

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

May 27, 2026

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

May 27, 2026

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

May 27, 2026

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

May 27, 2026

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

May 27, 2026

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

May 27, 2026

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

May 26, 2026

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

May 26, 2026