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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,009

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Trending via TikTok:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Making waves on Telegram:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Live now on WeChat:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Just landed via X:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you found the hidden level in the retail video game! 🎮😄🛒

chaos, fit, hell, humor, i, right, shopping, today, Walmart, wild

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

1 month ago
before, coffee, coffee maker, humor, little, maker, office, pass, rules, should, test, touch, training, training video, video, watch, workplace
I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

5 months ago
energy, give, humor, i, only, people, trust, unemployable, unemployable energy
“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

1 month ago
Bluetooth, fun, game, humor, insane, lone, lone person, loud, observation, person, play, public, social, social observation, speaking
The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

1 month ago
amusement, amusement park, circle, different, ferris, Ferris wheel, humor, inventor, man, merry-go-round, met, never, park, wheel, wordplay
Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

1 month ago
animal, animal metaphor, comfort, comfort song, dark, dark forest, forest, girls, humor, inside, irony, metaphor, music, music taste, personality, personality traits, song, taste, traits, wolf
Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

1 month ago
doctor, drinks, health, honesty, humor, laugh, lie, live, partying, week

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Seen just now on Twitch:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Making waves on Instagram:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

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Activity Log ✨

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

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Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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