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Commentary:
"Breaking news: my diet plan has been upgraded from 'salad every meal' to 'embracing my inner marshmallow' 🤣🍔 Who needs abs when you can have fab? 💁‍♂️ #BodyPositivity"

body, body positivity, diet, fat, humor, okay, positivity, self-acceptance, update, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

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2 months ago

challenge, Christmas, family, humor, kids, ornaments, parent, parenting, put, rearrange, thing, tree
Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

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2 months ago

best, dining, forgetfulness, forgot, glasses, hoping, humor, menu, mishap, pointing, random, spot
Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

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2 months ago

folks, folly, humor, otherwise, people, wisdom, wise
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

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2 months ago

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

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6 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

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2 months ago

bathroom, cleanliness, door, expectation, gas, gas station, humor, i, man, open, prayer, restroom, risk, say, short, station, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

76 shares on Slack this month:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Live now on Twitch:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Going viral on Threads:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Trending via Reddit:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Going viral on Telegram:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨