Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Trending via Snapchat:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Breaking via Telegram:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Just landed via TikTok:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Shared recently on Discord:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't help but wonder if "robo-chatters" would spark an AI revolution 🤖💬 #WatchOutForTheOverlords

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

2 months ago

deprivation, doing, hobby, hours, humor, insomnia, laziness, nothing, procrastination, saying, sleep, sleep deprivation, staying, staying up, three, tired
Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

2 months ago

humor, personification, taken, talk, terrifying, walls
Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

2 months ago

advice, clock, humor, never, pun, secret, share, tell, time
Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

3 months ago

cake, food, food name, humor, name, Paris, place, place name, responsible, rice, rice cake, Texas, wordplay
After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

2 months ago

activity, after, charge, chores, domestic, domestic life, dryer, fun, fun activity, humor, laundry, life, little, relaxation, should, tumble
Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

2 months ago

activity, childhood, days, explain, fun, fun activity, having, injury, kids, know, nostalgia, shame, yo-yo

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

63 shares on Discord this month:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Seen just now on X:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just shared via WeChat:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Trending via Reddit:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Just landed via Instagram:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Spotted on WeChat:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨