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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,975

Funny Quotes Topics

14,779

Funny Quotes Images

11,975

3 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Just landed via TikTok:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Seen just now on Discord:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Going viral on Messenger:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Reported on Messenger:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Making waves on Reddit:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Just shared via Slack:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic catch-22 of reaching your 50s: you finally have the confidence and maturity to know your worth, but now nobody seems to be interested in matching your fabulous vibe! 🙈 Looks like it's time to embrace the solo adventure of self-love and Netflix binges – who needs a partner when you've got your own perfect company, right? 💁‍♂️ #FabulousAt50s 🎉

50s, attraction, dating, humor, likes, relationships, self-awareness, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,975

Funny Quotes Topics

14,779

Funny Quotes Images

11,975

3 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Making waves on Facebook:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Live now on Reddit:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Freshly posted on X:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

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