If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Commentary:
“Remember, life is too short to chase people who don’t make an effort to be in your life. 🕒✂️ Surround yourself with those who value your time like it’s a limited edition snack – available for a good time, not a long time! 🍿😄”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew cooking brown rice required a schedule 📆 while eggs just need a quick timer ⏲️? Brown rice be like ‘Hold on, let me check my calendar before I get all chewy and clumpy!’ 🍚🤣 #KitchenConundrums”

  • I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

    Commentary:
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    Commentary:
    “Who decided to play this cruel trick on us?! 😂 It’s like giving us a taste of holiday freedom and then yanking it away like a bad Christmas cracker joke! 🎄🎁 #NotFair #BackToReality”

  • Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

    Commentary:
    “🛒✈️ Seriously, does buying a pack of gum come with a boarding pass now? Stay tuned for the next announcement reminding you not to leave your sense of humor at the security checkpoint! 😂 #InflightShopping”

  • Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

    Commentary:
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  • Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out for those rebellious toasters! 🍞🔥 Who knew our breakfast appliances held such power? 😆 Better keep an eye on your toast – you never know when it might decide to assert its independence! 🤖✨”