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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

41 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Trending via Slack:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Just landed via Messenger:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Breaking via Discord:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

5 months ago

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hmm, let me guess… "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice? 🕺🎶 Or is it "Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry? 🎸🍒 Either way, it seems like funky white boys have been grooving to the beat for quite some time! 😉🕺 #FunkyMusic #WhiteBoyGroove

boy, favorite, funky, funky music, music, playing, song, white, white boy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

41 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Just landed via Slack:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Breaking via Slack:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Live now on Threads:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Trending via X:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Spotted on Twitch:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

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