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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Just landed via Threads:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Breaking via Messenger:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Live now on Threads:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Seen just now on X:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Trending via Reddit:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about forgetfulness and misplaced items, playful and humorous in tone.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of the missing item – it always seems to play hide and seek with us! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 It's like a stealthy ninja, disappearing when we don't need it and suddenly deciding to play a game of vanishing act right when we desperately require it. 😂 Just when you think you've outsmarted it, it outwits you with its disappearing act! 🎩✨ #HideAndSeekChampion

frustration, humor, i, irony, life, need, search

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Spotted on YouTube:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Spotted on Facebook:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Going viral on Discord:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Shared recently on TikTok:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

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