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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Trending via X:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Going viral on Twitch:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Spotted on Slack:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

2 months ago

0

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of the missing item – it always seems to play hide and seek with us! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 It's like a stealthy ninja, disappearing when we don't need it and suddenly deciding to play a game of vanishing act right when we desperately require it. 😂 Just when you think you've outsmarted it, it outwits you with its disappearing act! 🎩✨ #HideAndSeekChampion

frustration, humor, i, irony, life, need, search

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

0

2 months ago

delivery, doorstep, fastest, fastest person, humor, joke, man, paid, pay, payment, person, pricing, street, theft, unexpected
I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

0

2 months ago

bed, blanket, comfort, humor, i, laziness, let, me, morning, need, sleep, struggle, weighted, weighted blanket
Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

0

5 months ago

animal, conversation, cow, day, enjoying, every, humor, imagination, imagine, me, moo, nature, saying, Switzerland, view
My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

0

2 months ago

event, favorite, favorite part, humor, interaction, introvert, over, relief, social, social event, social interaction, socializing
In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward question, comedy, complete, conversation, deep, deep gaze, flirting, gaze, humor, interview, job, job interview, lips, me, parted, parted lips, question, response, you complete me
Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

0

5 months ago

answer, cheating, content, easily, exam, i, memorizing, question, questions

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

18 shares on X this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

80 shares on Threads this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job ruined my life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,817

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Freshly posted on X:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Going bananas on WeChat:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Spotted on TikTok:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Just shared via TikTok:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Just landed via Instagram:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Going bananas on Threads:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

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