Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
👯‍♂️ "When you run into twins, make sure to address the CEO of the duo! 🤣 Who knows, the one in charge might have all the twin-spired wisdom and authority! Double the trouble, double the fun, double the bossiness?"

authority, charge, conversation, demand, humor, joke, meet, meeting, sibling, speak, twins

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

4 months ago

ahead, bargain, couple, discount, dollar, Dollar Tree, dollars, humor, joke, just, money, name, needs, price, retail, shopping, store, store name, tree
You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

2 months ago

adulthood, age, clean, cleaning, getting, getting old, house, housework, music, nostalgia, old, used
In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

1 month ago

am, change, English, face, ghost, haunted, i, love, poetry, say, stranger, used
Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

5 months ago

adult, adult humor, boner, erection, getting, humor, instruction, instructions, Lego, me, telling, toy
My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

1 week ago

Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling
Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

3 months ago

architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Just shared via Reddit:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏