Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Going viral on Discord:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Going viral on Twitch:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Just landed via Twitch:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Just landed via Twitch:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

0
When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being a snowman must be a real nose-tingling experience! 🥕❄️ Just imagine, the world smells like a delicious carrot all day, every day. It's a rough life for those frosty fellas, but at least they never have to worry about getting hangry! ⛄😋"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

83 shares on Slack this month:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Breaking via X:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Trending via Pinterest:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Just shared via TikTok:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Live now on Slack:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Just landed via Reddit:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴