Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Going viral on TikTok:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Spotted on Discord:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Going viral on Reddit:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Spotted on Telegram:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about snowmen: all carrots smell funny to winter characters.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being a snowman must be a real nose-tingling experience! 🥕❄️ Just imagine, the world smells like a delicious carrot all day, every day. It's a rough life for those frosty fellas, but at least they never have to worry about getting hangry! ⛄😋"

carrot, everything, humor, perspective, smell, smells, snowman, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Half princess, half menace.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I suffer from awesomnia.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Seen just now on YouTube:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Going viral on X:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Going viral on X:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Trending via X:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Going bananas on Discord:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Going viral on Pinterest:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴