Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Breaking via Twitch:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Just shared via Threads:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Trending via Discord:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Breaking via Messenger:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess we'll have to rely on CGI for realistic running scenes after Cruise hangs up his sneakers! 🏃‍♂️💨🎬"

actor, cruise, fame, going, Hollywood, humor, joke, movy, retirement, run, tom, Tom Cruise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, fear, funny situation, humor, i, kids, loud, neighbors, parenting, room, situation, yelling
Running from your problems is cardio.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

0

5 months ago

food, humor, over, personality, plate, real, sharing, someone, take
No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

0

5 months ago

astrology, cosmic, depressed, depression, excuse, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, planet, planets, something, star, stars, sure, wrong
When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, challenge, distraction, escape, exam, hard, humor, nature, outdoor, school, stress, window
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, drinking, faster, hot, humor, irony, lap, morning, spill, wake

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

72 shares on Slack this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

46 shares on Discord this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

65 shares on X this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

70 shares on Discord this month:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Going viral on X:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Spotted on Slack:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Just shared via Twitch:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Trending via Facebook:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Running from your problems is cardio.

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨