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Looks like my bingo card finally retired from active duty this year 🎱🚫👵
28 Funny retirement quotes
The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.
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Totally agree, my life's been buffering since 39! 😂🕺📅
When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.
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Living the dream: skip the work and go straight to the tropical beach villa! 🍹💸🏝️
Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.
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Trading youth for a senior discount doesn't seem like a fair deal! 🤔👴💸
For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.
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Officially embracing the fine art of being "re-tired" daily! 😴🔄🎉
Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.
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That's one veteran that never saw any action! 🍌🪖
I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.
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Trading in cruise ships for X-rays and MRI scans! ✈️➡️🩻👴😂
I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.
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Finally embracing the fine art of bird spa management! 🐦🛁😂
I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.
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Trading stocks for snacks with my raccoon accountant! 🦝🌲📈
I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.
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Driving slow in the fast lane: the real retirement perk 😂🚗💨🕖