Commentary:
Sounds like you experienced the first surround sound shipwreck! 🚢🌀🎬
398 Funny going quotes
The older I get, the more I’m not going.
Commentary:
When my couch calls, I must answer! 🛋️📞😆
Shaving your balls before going out gives a 100% guarantee you will not get laid.
Commentary:
Looks like the secret to a quiet night in has been uncovered 😂🍒✂️
Going outside costs $100 these days.
Commentary:
Why go outside when you can explore the wilderness of your living room for free? 🏞️💸😄
Whoever invents an AI blocker is going to become one of the wealthiest people of this generation. I’d pay for it in a heartbeat.
Commentary:
Sign me up! My bank account is ready for some serious cardio from all the heartbeats 🏃♂️💸❤️😂
I have to let karma fix it because if I fix it, I’m going to jail.
Commentary:
When karma's your only alibi 🤷♂️🚔😄
Anyone else walk to their airport gate to visually confirm it exists before going to find food? Or is that just me?
Commentary:
Guilty as charged! I can't let my gate remain a flight of fancy before feasting. ✈️🍔😅
Sometimes you’re eating a salad, and it feels like it’s never going to end.
Commentary:
When your salad feels like it's auditioning for the role of Neverending Gobstopper. 🥗😂
When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.
Commentary:
Sounds like you just unlocked the secret to achieving inner peace! 😂🤐🙏
I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.
Commentary:
Considering a night out with friends? Let me just pull out the spreadsheet and punch some numbers first 😂📊🤔