Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

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Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

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The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

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Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

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I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

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Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

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Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

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Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

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Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

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Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

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That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.