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Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive DJ Anthropologist – observing the wild dances of the nocturnal creatures who flock to the beat of the bass 🎶🕺🔬. Who knew studying party animals could be so fascinating? Just remember, folks, always stay curious…and hydrated! 💃🍹"

anthropologist, booth, cultural, dj, humor, i, music, only, party, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

1 month ago
adult, comedy, double, double entendre, entendre, good, hand, humor, innuendo, joke, left, making, masturbation, playful, right, sandwich, sex
All my small talk is done with a car horn.

1 month ago
car, car horn, communication, done, driving, horn, humor, interaction, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

5 months ago
anxiety, communication, hesitation, humor, i, need, person, self-respect, shame, social, social anxiety, text, texting, want
I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

5 days ago
app, content, control, deactivate, every, i, law, let, media, short-form, short-form video, should, social, social media, think, user, user control, video, video content
Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

2 months ago
alone, alone time, apartment, freedom, i, independence, live, living, living alone, oh, personal, personal space, solitude, space, time, want, whatever
We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

1 month ago
carpet, cleaned, cleaning, dog, humor, just, pet, throw, throw up, today, waiting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Seen just now on Slack:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Spotted on YouTube:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Trending via Threads:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

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Activity Log ✨

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Salary week, but salary weak.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

I need a break from me.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Next to nothing is a weird place.

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

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Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

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