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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Going viral on Discord:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Trending via Twitch:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Going viral on X:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Going bananas on Slack:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about life's cycle, humorously highlighting honesty and mortality.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't life just a series of epic performances sprinkled with a touch of drama and a pinch of embellishment? 🎭😂 Remember, it's all just a dress rehearsal until the final curtain call! Why not add some jazz hands and a fabulous finale to your story? 💃🕺💫

birth, born, death, die, existence, honesty, humor, lie, life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

90 shares on Telegram this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

75 shares on Discord this month:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Just shared via Messenger:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Just shared via Discord:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Spotted on TikTok:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Trending via Pinterest:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

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