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Reminiscing about the good old days when I was a twinkle in my grandma's eye 😆✨ #ThrowbackThursday
45 Funny existence quotes
“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.
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Wonder if heaven's prosecutor gets paid in good karma or just really nice hugs 😂👼⚖️
Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.
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Aliens are probably watching us like we’re the universe’s longest-running sitcom 😂👽🍿
The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.
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Relatable content alert: proof that even I can't stand how awesome I am for a solid 24 hours a day 😂🤷♂️
Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.
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Proof that even my consciousness has buyer's remorse 😂🧠💭
Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.
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Adopting the invisibility filter option: Annoying people begone! 😂👻✨
Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?
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I’m totally ready for the universe to hire me as a full-time cat cuddler and artistic daydreamer! 🎨🐱✨
There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to start a "Worthy Men" boot camp! Applications open now! 😂👩✈️🔍
The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.
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Who do I have to impress at the North Pole to get a magical month off work? 🎅🏝️🗓️
A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.
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Just imagining brokers shouting "Buy low, swim fast!" on the sperm exchange floor 🤣💸💦