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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

56 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Making waves on TikTok:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Going viral on Discord:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Just shared via YouTube:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Shared recently on Discord:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Home » Funny Birth Quotes

28 Funny birth quotes

Funny birth quotes 🤰😂 are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of humor to the miracle of life! Whether you’re a new parent navigating sleepless nights 🌙 or someone who loves celebrating birthdays with a laugh 🎉, these witty words capture the hilarity of parenthood and birth. Get ready to giggle at the unexpected twists and turns that come with welcoming a tiny human into the world! 🤱😄

New funny birth quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Commentary:
Sounds like your kid graduated from the School of Slow Shoelace Tying! 🐢👟😄
7 days ago
Share →: The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Commentary:
"Oops, I think I just scrolled back to the dinosaur era. 🦖🗓️ #Vintage"
1 month ago
Share →: Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Commentary:
"Still crying, but at least now I understand taxes! 😂😭 #Adulting"
2 months ago
Share →: Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Commentary:
"When your footwear says 'I'm not a dad, but I play one on the weekends' 🤣🧦👞"
2 months ago
Share →: When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous "other day" — basically the RSVP of time references! 🎉🗓️ It's like saying "soon" or "let’s do it sometime," which really means "whenever I remember or feel like it." 😂 So next time someone drops the "other day" bomb, just prepare for a timeline that stretches from yesterday to the dawn of humanity! 🕰️⏳ Talk about a flexible schedule!
3 months ago
Share →: My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Commentary:
"When did my birth year graduate from the kiddie pool to the deep end of the scroll list? 🚼➡️📜😅"
4 months ago
Share →: When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Commentary:
🤣 When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor probably thought he was delivering a roundhouse kick instead of a baby! 💥👶 #ChuckNorrisFacts
4 months ago
Share →: Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Commentary:
"Whenever I walk into a room, the urge to use birth control suddenly skyrockets! 🚫👶😆"
4 months ago
Share →: My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate throwback to hindsight humor! It seems like someone had a rough start from day one, but hey, at least they didn't make the same mistake twice… or did they? Birthdays must be a real blast for this person, huh?
4 months ago
Share →: Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, Malcolm Twitter – bringing social justice one tweet at a time! Who knew a name change could lead to such a revolutionary transformation?"

For even more funny birth quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny birth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

56 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Live now on Telegram:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Spotted on WeChat:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Making waves on X:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Live now on X:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Freshly posted on X:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Going viral on X:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

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