Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.
  • If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.
  • Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.
  • When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
  • Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
  • Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.