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Commentary:
"Your honor, if I may serenade the court with the timeless classic, Wonderwall, for this 'wonder'-ful case 🎸🎶 Let's set the mood with some acoustic justice! #WonderwallDefense"

court, honor, humor, joke, lawyer, music, plea, pun, Wonderwall

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, opening, people, scam, trust
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

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2 months ago

advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, myself, need, self-talk, talk
“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

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2 months ago

alert, anticipation, humor, interaction, me, past, sneak, unexpected
If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

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2 months ago

drunk, Easter, Easter egg, egg, eggs, fun, hide, hunt, knows, nobody, party, secret, surprise, where
One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

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5 months ago

absence, addiction, back, came, day, health, humor, loss, mental, mental health, mind, never, sanity, smoke
I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, disguise, driving, humor, i, joke, knows, nobody, safety, sunglasses, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

89 shares on Threads this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

56 shares on X this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

39 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Going viral on YouTube:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Just shared via Slack:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Just shared via X:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨