Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.
  • This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.
  • Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.
  • My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.
  • I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.
  • If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.