Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.
  • When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.
  • Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
  • My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.
  • “Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.
  • I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.