34 funny sport quotes - Wordgag

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

May 25, 2026

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

May 24, 2026

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

May 23, 2026

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

May 23, 2026

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

May 23, 2026

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

May 23, 2026

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

May 22, 2026

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

May 22, 2026

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

May 22, 2026

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

May 22, 2026

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

May 22, 2026

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

May 22, 2026

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

May 22, 2026

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

May 22, 2026

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

May 21, 2026

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

May 21, 2026

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

May 21, 2026

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

May 20, 2026

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

May 19, 2026

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

May 19, 2026May 19, 2026

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

May 19, 2026

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

May 18, 2026

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

May 18, 2026

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

May 6, 2026

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Apr 1, 2026

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Apr 1, 2026

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Mar 31, 2026

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Mar 31, 2026

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Mar 30, 2026

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Mar 30, 2026

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Mar 29, 2026

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Mar 29, 2026

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Mar 29, 2026

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Mar 28, 2026