Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.
  • I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.
  • I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.
  • Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.
  • I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.
  • Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.