Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.
  • Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.
  • Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”
  • I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.
  • Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
  • Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.